I'm totally comfused. I know I am week and I have only tiny faith. It's okay because Jesus Christ said: "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
But I'm afraid that my faith is not a mustard seed, I'm afraid it's a tradition. I go to church every week, I pray every day, I think of God often, almost the whole day, I know I am His child, I know that I went through the metanoia's hard way. I had great periods with God, I was happy and everythig was allright. I don't know, I just feel that my faith is not a real thing, it is like a habit... or... it is like an internal pressure to faith in God. And it is not like "you have to believe in Him, because if you're not believing, you will be damned". It is like I have to believe Him, because that's what I do since I accepted the salvation. I just feel that my faith is not like it was before. I remember I had good times, I was okay with God, I prayed hard - through hours -, and I was strong and confident and satisfied. I want my strong faith back! I will read more about Him and the life with Him, and His miracles, listen to christian music - I'd listen before - and read the Bible! I don't wanna lose my faith, I won't lose it! NEVER!!!
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